April 30, 2022

'You get further with a kind word and an attorney, than with just a kind word'

Five years ago, I was seeing a VA therapist for PTSD (From Vietnam). The therapist would constantly make comments about my inability to walk in a straight line. In a subsequent conversation, she mentioned that cognitive testing was in order, to determine if there were to many dead brain cells from my post Vietnam drinking. I did not receive this well. My thought being, that 25 years after my 1970 return from Vietnam, I was a partially sponsored inline speed skater who competed regularly in 10 kilometer races (6.2 miles). My thought being that having killed off my brain cells in the 70's, how did they grow back and then die again. Inline skating at an average speed of over 14 mph requires a modicum of balance. I complained bitterly and subsequently assigned a therapist in private practice. In the meantime, my wife would try to be 'slick' by secretly(?) following on my daily 3.7 mile walk to the Hannibal Subway restaurant. Her intent was to make sure I did not fall and be unable to get up. Fast forward four years and in 2021 at a regularly scheduled appointment with my primary doctor, the doctor asked several questions about my difficulty moving around. My primary doctor referred me to a neurologist in Quincy, Il. I had previously (2016) been seeing a neurologist at the VA, and received several different prescriptions for tremors but nothing seemed to help.Finally the VA nuerologist advised me to, "Get a cane" The neurologist in Quincy, Il. diagnosed me with moderate to severe Parkinson's disease. Parkinson's is one of the diseases associated with exposure to Agent Orange (A defoliant used in Vietnam). I had years earlier received a letter from the VA advising me that I had been exposed to agent orange. I filed a claim for compensation with the VA and was sent to a doctor for a compensation evaluation. The compensation doctor made some small talk, but when I began to tell him about my symptoms, he did not want to hear about it. 'I have your records, that's all I need to know', he stated. The whole visit lasted less than 15 minutes. Several weeks later I received a letter from the VA more or less telling me that Parkinson's was minimal. Parkinson's is in fact a progressive neurological disorder that only get's worse, never better. I hired an attorney who was experienced in dealing with the VA. My attorney filed an appeal and subsequently the VA decided to rate me as 100% disabled.

January 12, 2019 - Hannibal, Missouri - “The Joy is in the Struggle” - Swahili Proverb

VA Counselling and things better left alone

Ok, so the VA referred me for PTSD counselling to a provider right here in Hannibal, Mo. My Counselor was a very nice lady who was not condescending or judgemental. A big change from the VA. The VA seems to stereotype older veterans, (I am about to celebrate my 69th birthday) as alchoholic druggies who revelle in war. While I did have a horrific alcohol and drug problem after Vietnam, I have long since put that behind me. A few years ago I was hospitalized at the VA for pancreatitis. After being admitted to the Harry S. Truman VA hospital, a couple of doctors paid me a visit. They proceeded to ask me about my lifestyle. A 5 mile daily run and a predominantly vegetarian diet, with no smoking, alcohol or other drugs was my response. I had never had doctors openly laugh out loud at me before. One of the doctors told me I was the only person in the hospital who lived like that. The doctors continued to exhort me to quit or cut down on my drinking. Eventually, to get some peace from these idiots, I told them I was going to work on cutting back on drinking. Now, mind you, I have not consumed alcohol in well over 30 years. Later the same doctors asked why my chest was enlarged. I knew if I told them about lifting weights for over 30 years, there would be another round of laughter (I thought briefly about claiming that alcohol consumption caused my chest to expand to 40++ inches and my waist to contract to 32 inches) but what was the use. “Just lucky, I guess”, was my response. A couple of years later, I found out that pancreatitis is not uncommon among people who have had their gallbladder removed, as I had. OK, so I digressed. At long last a counselor that ‘Get’s me’. We had several weekly sessions, during which, at the counselors’s behest, I summarized some of my experiences in Vietnam in a journal. Some of my writings, subsequently were posted on this website under the ‘War’ link. The problem was with me, not the counselor. When I rehashed my Vietnam experiences, they became more and more intrusive. We finally agreed that this course of action was magnifying my nightmares, flashbacks, and more.

Picture taken May 14, 2018 at Si Como No Inn @ Beverly Beach, Florida

The VA Runaround, Year 48 OR How the mention of a US Senators’ name can open doors in seconds!

Having struggled verbally with VA therapist Lisa Linhardt, we started to communicate in early 2018. Ms. Linhardt had complained about my talking to her as an equal. Forgive me for, “Getting Uppity”. Having realized my place in the scheme of our relationship, I had thought we had ‘connected’. Just before my next appointment, the VA notified me that Ms. Linhardt had suddenly quit, and that I would be required to travel an additional 30+ miles (one way) to the VA facility in Columbia, Mo. Previously, my appointments were in Mexico, Mo., a one way distance of 68 miles. From then on, I was told, my appointments would be with Dr. Daniel in Columbia, Mo. I met with Dr. Daniel a few times, and noticed that the VA was only reimbursing me for travel to Mexico, Mo., this resulted in my losing $28 in travel pay each time I had an appointment. Upset by this developement, I complained to the VA travel pay office. They informed me that they could only pay me for travel to Mexico, because the VA had a therapist in Mexico. Dr. Daniel, when informed of this stated she would ‘straighten this out’. That never happened! Dr. Daniel also had decided that I would have to come to the Columbia VA for weekly visits. Well isn’t that great! 200 miles a week (round trip) in travel and travel pay for 136 miles. On my next visit, I explained that I could not afford a 200 mile a week trip with short pay. I really think that was the idea. Stop bothering the VA! At this point, I told Dr. Daniel that I was in the process of filing a compaint with U.S. Senator Clair McCaskill. Dr. Daniel picked up the phone, and within seconds, I was informed of a brand new program the VA had just started that would allow me to see a PTSD provider in my area. IT’S A MIRACLE!!!! I now travel a total of 2 miles roundtrip! Not 200! Of course, I never did receive the travel pay the VA cheated me on!

I have been trying to get help from the VA for PTSD since 1970!

In 2014, the VA awarded me a disabilty for PTSD. After 47 years of asking for help, I felt that I would finally get the help that I have desperately sought. After several prescriptions for pills that my body could not tolerate and caused a wide range of side effects, I agreed to go to see a VA therapist. Enter VA therapist Lisa Linhardt. Linhardt has figured out the problem! This VA ‘therapist’ tells me I need to be tested for brain damage! This because I drank heavily upon my return from Vietnam. Hooray! 47 years after my return from Vietnam! In the last 47 years, I have seen and heard it all from the VA. I have been hospitalized for two weeks in a VA ward in the 70’s at a time when PTSD was not even recognized. A few years later, I complained that the only way I could sleep was to drink myself to sleep each night, the VA counselor at the Vet Center in Oak Park, Illinois, took me outside, put his arm around my shoulder and told me that I was in luck because there were liquor stores in either direction. This at a time when I would drink an 8 ounce glass of vodka and chase it down with Alkaseltzer. At that point in my life, I was spitting up blood. Forget the 2 DWI’s and my constant run-ins with police. Two Chicago policemen had actually spread the word around that if they ever caught me alone, I would ‘disappear’. Next month I will make the 200 mile roundtrip to Columbia Missouri for 4 hours of tests to determine the degree of brain damage I have! So you see the fault is not in having seen people who were my friends blown into pieces and a red mist. The fault is mine for drinking in the 1970’s to escape the horrors I had seen, and those I will never stop seeing.

This Website designed and programmed by a brain damaged Vietnam veteran?

Earth to VA therapist Lisa Linhardt! HELLO is anyone there???