January 12, 2019 - Hannibal, Missouri - “The Joy is in the Struggle” - Swahili Proverb

VA Counselling and things better left alone

Ok, so the VA referred me for PTSD counselling to a provider right here in Hannibal, Mo. My Counselor was a very nice lady who was not condescending or judgemental. A big change from the VA. The VA seems to stereotype older veterans, (I am about to celebrate my 69th birthday) as alchoholic druggies who revelle in war. While I did have a horrific alcohol and drug problem after Vietnam, I have long since put that behind me. A few years ago I was hospitalized at the VA for pancreatitis. After being admitted to the Harry S. Truman VA hospital, a couple of doctors paid me a visit. They proceeded to ask me about my lifestyle. A 5 mile daily run and a predominantly vegetarian diet, with no smoking, alcohol or other drugs was my response. I had never had doctors openly laugh out loud at me before. One of the doctors told me I was the only person in the hospital who lived like that. The doctors continued to exhort me to quit or cut down on my drinking. Eventually, to get some peace from these idiots, I told them I was going to work on cutting back on drinking. Now, mind you, I have not consumed alcohol in well over 30 years. Later the same doctors asked why my chest was enlarged. I knew if I told them about lifting weights for over 30 years, there would be another round of laughter (I thought briefly about claiming that alcohol consumption caused my chest to expand to 40++ inches and my waist to contract to 32 inches) but what was the use. “Just lucky, I guess”, was my response. A couple of years later, I found out that pancreatitis is not uncommon among people who have had their gallbladder removed, as I had. OK, so I digressed. At long last a counselor that ‘Get’s me’. We had several weekly sessions, during which, at the counselors’s behest, I summarized some of my experiences in Vietnam in a journal. Some of my writings, subsequently were posted on this website under the ‘War’ link. The problem was with me, not the counselor. When I rehashed my Vietnam experiences, they became more and more intrusive. We finally agreed that this course of action was magnifying my nightmares, flashbacks, and more.